We’ve been out of contact for about 27 badrojns, or nearly 3 of your Earth months. (When will you begin using standard measurements like the rest of Creation?)

We took a picture of the junk. That’s it up there in the corner. From what we could pick up from your primitive airwaves, you Earthlings claim it is something called the NASA New Horizons spacecraft you sent off to explore Pluto.

Typical Earthling stupidity. You decided that our neighbor Pluto wasn’t a planet after all — and it took you 80 years to come to that conclusion, but you’re still spending gazillions of your coins to finance a missionn to explore it. Eighty years this week, to be precise, since poor old Clyde Tombaugh found Pluto, even though those of us out here know it never was lost.

That floating junkpile of yours now is closer to us than it is to you, and it took you four years to get just that far. And, what happens if once it gets to Pluto it finds out our neighboring rock is, indeed, a planet? Are you going to take 80 years after that to reclassify it yet again?

Gorpindor, you Earthlings continue to baffle me beyond all zandrw. Have you given some thought to just staying where you are? You just get all excited when whoever is in charge of your country makes an announcement about exploring space, but you don’t achieve a lot.

Perhaps all of us out here on the edge are better off because of that.

Like there’s something new about that tidbit of knowledge.

Next they’ll be guessing that the plumes move faster than the speed of sound. First grade stuff here on Charon. We don’t find it such a big deal; more of a big annoyance. Our home orb isn’t the biggest thing around, so when one of those huge Saturnian moons starts spitting out stuff all over the place it gets pretty messy.

You Earthlings might call this stuff a key building block of life. We just consider it something to avoid.

I’ve said it before, but I’ll keep saying it till the Quoobs come home: I hate how Earthlings are “discovering” things a lot of us already knew were there. That’s some conceit.

Something called “German scientists” who used a telescope in the Earth country of Spain for their work have just announced that not only has this heavenly body — the one out here near Us, not the one on TV — measured up to planet size, with a 1,860-mile diameter that makes it larger than nearest planetary neighbor Pluto, it also has its own moon.

Don’t go booking any travel out this way, though. You might think the weather here on Charon and over on Pluto is cold. Well, Xena is an icy, rocky world so far from our sun that it would appear like a mere light speck if viewed from Xena.

Oh, and Xenaphiles might like to know that the new planet’s moon is nicknamed Gabrielle in honor of Xena’s blonde sidekick/biographer. How’s that for symmetry?

So I wonder what this gathering of scientists and big brainiacs taught them. Just a little something we picked out of the nano-rays.